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...the girl in black and blue...

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December 11th, 2012


01:19 pm
sometimes i think i've deluded myself into thinking someday i could be happy. i have moments, bright lights and conversations but i always come back to the dark. i have what i want and it satisfies me, but it's not sustaining me. bread and water, bread and water. i blame myself, my genetics, my chemistry. my life is chaotic but in my head it's a tempest raging and i can't find shelter. i don't know anything anymore. broken record, broken record.

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December 7th, 2012


01:23 pm - a new day breaks
so chaotic my mind
from day to day from hour to hour
howquicklyeverythinghchanges
and then
i have
to step back
and i have to remember
i live in what was a daydream
scraped bloody and bruised
to bring into the daylight
i carry my scars but can't let them overwhelm
because it's not what i faught for
it's a place in the sun
where i'm no longer afraid of the dark
and whatever battles
real or imagined
are nothing compaired to where i came from
i
will
be
whole
again...
a new day breaks

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November 22nd, 2012


12:23 pm - all in my head
it's the day i realize i broke my own heart. everything i swim in is my own design and i can't swallow it. all of these choices and none of them are right and i wonder where to go from here. he says don't forget it's all in your head and sometimes i remember it is, but the feelings are still real anyway. i lose either way i go so i sit still now. i wish i could feel something, anything, besides this overwhelming tidal wave. maybe i'll look up someday soon and see how none of this is the same anymore. i wiish it were sooner, but i know it will be later...

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July 13th, 2010


10:58 pm - again and again
this is me again living inside of my head, and this is me thinking the universe conspires against me to give me things i want once i can't have them. i wish i knew where i was. this is just me. just silly phases of insanity.
Current Location: mount vision
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Raspuntina - The New Zero

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December 7th, 2009


01:01 pm - tweet!


  • 15:53 Note: when it's 30 degrees outside and you're in a mini skirt you don't look sexy. You look like a cold hooker. #

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December 6th, 2009


01:03 pm - tweet!


  • 11:27 I'm eating white trash. It's like trail mix for people who have always wanted diabetes. #

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December 5th, 2009


01:01 pm - tweet!


  • 12:01 Some guy just told me I made him a very happy customer. I said I was glad. Today I think I meant it. #
  • 14:55 I have to have dinner with Hark's parents tonight. Nothing like getting told at the last minute! #
  • 11:31 Santa is right behind the sunglass stand. Crying kids and ho ho ho every 12 secodnds does not a fun day make. #

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December 4th, 2009


01:02 pm - tweet!


  • 12:01 Some guy just told me I made him a very happy customer. I said I was glad. Today I think I meant it. #

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December 2nd, 2009


01:01 pm - tweet!


  • 18:35 I got a replacement xmas tree. Yay! #

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December 1st, 2009


11:10 pm - tweet!
This is the TEST shipment you asked for



  • 18:35 I got a replacement xmas tree. Yay! #

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